if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
