Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize