Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
