so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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