I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
