i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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