watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
