: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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