When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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