No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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