How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
