I heard we made out
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
