I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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