i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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