Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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