Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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