i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
