dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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