I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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