Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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