is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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