You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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