let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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