They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
