it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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