marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
