he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
