normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
