home. puking in laundry basket.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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