My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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