is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We left the knife in your bed.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
