i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
