who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
