Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
