i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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