ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
