I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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