OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
