Betty ford says i'm here all night
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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