But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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