Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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