Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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