also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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