Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
