I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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