that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize