i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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