i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
