Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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