yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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