Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize