Got a toothbrush?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
