Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
