Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Im part way to drunk.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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